Worst Song Lyrics Ever
Some artists like to have fun with their words while others couldn’t write a coherent sentence if their lives depended on it. Sure some of the bands below didn’t come up with the absurd lyrics that they sing but at some point, they should have raised their hand and asked their lyricists: “Did you ever graduate from grade school?”.
Black Eyed Peas – My Humps
“My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps.”
UpVenue Take: The Black Eyed Peas are notorious for having cringe worthy lyrics, usually they’re either spelling out words or repeating the same ones over and over. Somehow, My Humps manages to outdo the rest of their repertoire. Lead singer, will.i.am is actually a very intelligent person so it’s a mystery how lyrics that make it sound like Fergie has a (sexy?) tumor can make their way into their songs.
The Killers – Human
“Are we human or are we dancer”
UpVenue Note: Not only do these lyrics make no sense but they are also grammatically incorrect. The often misheard, “Are we human or are we denser” would have been slightly less stupid.
Honorable The Killers mention: “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier”
Razorlight – Somewhere Else
“And I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told her what it was”
UpVenue: These lyrics are so deep. I can’t wait to hear what they come up with for their wedding vows.
Madonna – I Love New York
“I don’t like cities
But I like New York
Other places
Make me feel like a dork”
UpVenue Take: Madonna was the queen of pop in the 80s with lyrics that inspired the infamous opening conversation of Reservoir Dogs. Fast forward fifteen or so years later and she’s rhyming “New York” with “dork”.
Snap – Rhythm is a Dancer
“I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer”
UpVenue Take: Are they seriously comparing the rhythm of a dancer (wait, *is* a dancer.. what?) to a life threatening illness?
Shakira – Whenever, Wherever
“Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don’t confuse
Them with mountains”
UpVenue Take: Cup size isn’t that important and apparantly neither are these lyrics.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers – Suck My Kiss
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Chicka chicka dee
Do me like a banshee
Low brow is how
Swimming in the sound
of bow wow wow”
UpVenue Take: I get the sexual connotations in the song but that doesn’t excuse the lyrics from being retarded. Come on Anthony, you’re not even trying.
New Edition – Popcorn Love
‘”P” is for her personality
I said the “O” is for originality
And the other “P” is for the perfect love she gives to me
The “C” is just ’cause she loves me
And the “O” means she’s the only love I got
And the “R” and the “N”, our love will never end‘
UpVenue: Do “never” and “end” begin with an “R” and a “N” or am I missing something here?
Oasis – Supersonic
“I know a girl called Elsa
She’s into Alka Seltzer
She sniffs it through a cane
On a supersonic train
She made me laugh
I got her autograph”
UpVenue Note: I’ve read better lyrics in my Alpha-Bits.
Insane Clown Posse – Miracles
“Fucking magnets, how do they work?“
UpVenue Take: Magnets are the least of ICP’s worries in this lyrically challenged song. Miracles is a perfect showcase at how insane the Insane Clown Posse really are. According to the lyrics, they don’t believe scientists, don’t understand rainbows (we’re not even talking about the double rainbow variety here) and they get their cellphones stolen by pelicans. I wish I was making this up, check out their ridiculous video below.