How Not To Be a Douche At Concerts

3 minute read

There's an unwritten concert "dos and don'ts" rule book that many music lovers abide by. Most of it is common knowledge but as it turns out, many people are completely clueless when it comes to concert etiquette. Throw away that Ed Hardy hat and read our Tune Up Your Mind (TUYM) guide below on what not to do at concerts.

Shut Off that phone

You're at a concert. Your favorite band is blasting their music. Your phone rings. For the love of all that is good and holy, do not answer it! It may seem like common sense but you'd be surprised at how many concerts we've been to where some douchebag decides to pull his phone out of his tight jeans, expose his obnoxious ringtone and then yell into the damn thing. We're fairly sure that it isn't illegal to punch someone in the face if they answer their phone at a concert (or at the movies).

No shirts from Awful Bands

You're cool enough to be the only one in your entourage to know about some obscure little indie band that's coming to town. You buy some tickets to their show, nice job! Now don't ruin it by showing up with a Nickelback shirt. In fact, burn that shirt and punish yourself for buying it in the first place.

Don't Push and shove people

While you might enjoy moshing, the 5 foot 2 inch tall, 100 pound girl next to you that you're pushing, shoving and trying to bring into the pit most likely doesn't. Not only is it extremely rude and obnoxious but you might injure the person. Oh, and one more thing: elbows down, always.

No touching!

If a girl decides to crowd surf, that doesn't mean that you're in the clear to begin a grope fest. Help her out by either moving her over to the next person or by making sure that she doesn't land on her head. You've done your part, now enjoy the rest of the show.

Don't Buy swag from scalpers

This is a big no-no. Sure the shirts may be a lot cheaper but you're not supporting the band that you came to see. Most bands make their money of merch and ticket sales. Buying unofficial shirts from some shady looking dude outside the venue isn't helping them. Don't be cheap, support the band.

Don't Shout out lyrics

The drummer puts his sticks down, the bassist stores away his instrument, the spotlight shifts over to the lead singer who begins a slow melody. Everyone is loving it. The last thing anyone wants to hear is your prepubescent voice shout out the words to the song. We hate to break it to you, but you can't sing and the only reason we cheer for you at karaoke Thursdays is because we're drunk.

A cellphone is not a Lighter

We get it, smoking isn't cool anymore and everyone has cellphones. Just because you have a lighter app on your iPhone doesn't mean that you should be using it when a band starts playing their anthem. Save those 99 pennies and invest them in a real lighter.

Don't Request "Freebird"

..or any song that is not in the band's repertoire. This also includes tracks from bands that the singer used to be in. Requesting a rare cover that they've already done before or a b-side is perfectly acceptable.

You Can't Squeeze through that 3 inch gap in the crowd so don't try

We know, you want to get closer to the stage. Well too bad, you should have gotten there sooner. Don't try to squeeze through the gaps and work your way to the front. A better alternative is to go through the left or right extremities of the venue where there are fewer people and there's more breathing room.

Don't Hold things over your head

For the shorter people in the crowd, it's already pretty hard to see the stage with all the people in their way. Don't be the idiot who brings a sign at a concert and starts waving it in the air. Also, don't put anyone over your shoulders so that they can see; the people behind you won't be too pleased. If the concert is outdoors and it starts to rain, no umbrellas.

That's it for this edition of Tune Up Your Mind. Hopefully, next time you're at a concert, you too will abide by these rules and you won't ruin the experience for everyone around you.